Tuesday, August 26, 2008

flashback time... *wibble wibble wibble*

A slightly different version of this goes with a Gurlesque performance that still goes down as my favourite naked performance of all time.

Imagine commencing with a 'straight' strip: all 'stripper heels', bodices, extended 'stripper' paraphernalia including undies over g-string, and swirls and twirls. Aka hail mistress of 'the art of doing nothing', as one of my (former) friends once so well put it. Strip done. Naked stripper ahoy - no bodily hair, long tresses, fake boobs, boy-hips, and only the heels haven't hit that neat and insufferably sensible pile of costuming in the corner.
Then, a cheeky grin. Lady sits down ceremoniously, little velvet bag in hand that appears to have materialised out of nowhere. Lies back. Lifts legs in air, and digs hands into aforementioned bag. This may be promising, but dare we hope...? The strains of music creep in, and her legs part like a stage curtain, revealing her hands... with muppets Bert and Ernie upon them. Mnaa Mnaa... they dive in unison between her thighs, and fight and claw one another to go down on her. Finally, the finale: they settle their differences, and dive in together, eating her out happily in unison.
Jim Henson eat your heart out.

The Muppets will never quite be the same again for me.

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